YES! The dreaded curse word has come up...more so in my life right now. Those of you who follow my blog will know that I have been out of my 9 year relationship for 2 years now and people are beginning to ask about my love life; I don't think to be nosy, but more so to want the best for me. I have dated in these two years and met several suitable men, but stemming from my previous experience, my standards have gone up. The reason is not only do I want to avoid the same heartache, but also I have risen and I need to be matched by someone who can level with me, challenge me, teach me, push me to my limits because he knows I can. Ugh....if only we can custom make our perfect mate! Please, find me a person who has not had any relationship woes, and I may just hug you! << (I'm not a hugger.)
This isn't easy, love isn't easy...Wait, to fall in love may be simple, but to STAY in love is the challenging part. To have the butterflies go on forever, you must "Like" the person you are with. Like to talk to them, Like to be around them, Like to be still with them, just LIKE them in general. Not easy huh? There are times when I can't stand my best friend and she's known me since we were kids, so how am I supposed to always Like a person I just met who has me deep in my emotions? But hey, that's how relationship prevail. You must have a solid foundation and a good stream of communication, otherwise....doomed. Once you find yourself ignoring your intuition and subsiding to your partners wants without considering your own needs.....it's time to go before you completely become someone you don't recognize.
I want my love to be unexpected, I don't want to plan to like someone so I can fabricate images of what our relationship will entail and then further depict the doom when what I envisioned did not come to light. I just want it to naturally flow. I want us to laugh and miss each other even though we are holding hands at that moment. I want to be able to share my darkest secret and not have to worry about him turning them against me. In the middle of an argument, I want him to just grab me and kiss me with passion, because he will know, as bulled headed as I am, I still need someone to cut me off and make me remember that the frustration isn't always worth it. I want to come home and see that he had came home early to fix me dinner because he knows I had a hard day at work.....and I will do all this for him, because love is a mutual exchange.